I cut off 20 inches of hair. It was an act of liberation– a reminder that I am under no obligation to be the person I once was.
The number one question I’ve gotten from people when they hear about me cutting my hair is why. The easiest answer is that I wanted a change. I’d done dramatic chops twice before and donated over a foot of hair each time. In March, with my hair tickling my tailbone, it was the longest it had ever been, and I became enamored with the idea of having it be the shortest I’d ever had it. Now, five months post-cut, here are some of my reflections.
First and foremost, it is soooo much easier to have short hair. There is tremendous labor in beauty. The labor is costly in both time and planning. I was lazy with my long hair, rarely styling it, but even then a hair wash day had to be scheduled in advance. Without the assistance of a blow dryer, my hair would take 8+ hours to dry. Now, after swimming, I shake off furiously like a shaggy dog and I am on my way.
My hair isn’t constantly touching me. It is sooooo great not to have my hair touching me or to constantly be in the process of keeping my hair from touching me. All my ponytails, clips, and claws are useless now. I can put on lip gloss with no care to how windy it is outside because my hair won’t get stuck in it. My hair won’t get stuck in any zippers, windows, or car doors either.
Second, I still feel feminine with such a boyish cut; however, it is a different kind of femininity. With my long hair I felt I hid behind it, coquetteish and coy, allowing the inherent effeminateness to take over. I touched it often (mostly out of annoyance) but knew the power of a well timed hair toss. Now I have nothing to flip or flaunt or curl. Instead my exposed neck, shoulders, and collarbone invite a subtle flirtatiousness. Beyond that, the short hair exudes a certain kind of confidence that cannot be garnered any other way. In any given room I tend to be the only woman sporting such a look. It has been a reminder that so much of beauty is about daring– and owning it.
Finally, and perhaps paradoxically, cutting my hair short has made me care less about how it looks. The first few days I literally jumped at the sight of myself in the mirror. I don’t mean this in a bad way, I was just surprised. It still happens from time to time. But really, it is everyone else who visually experiences my new look. My experience of my hair I.E. how it feels to live with it, has been wholly positive. I like the freedom of short hair both in time and expectation. It feels interesting simply because it is different– like how a nose ring or a tattoo silently shows the world something about yourself. My outfits and accessories feel fresh with the new look and I am enjoying seeing how it grows, even at the awkward lengths. I like that I gave myself the opportunity to experiment because it forces me to take things less seriously.
I don’t know if this will be just a season of short hair or a lifetime, but I am having fun with it for now. After all, it grows back.
Take care,
Cooper <3
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